日有所思，夜有所梦

ARG!!! I'm down with pharyngitis again!!! Started with a mild sore throat this morning and now progressed to low grade fever with severe sore throat, greenish yellow mucus and dry cough...

Anyway, I doped myself with Fedac, paracetamol and serratiopeptidase and went to sleep...

And guess what, my entire dream was about me and my friends clerking the wards over and over again...(maybe it had something to do with the fever Tmax=38.0)

Haha, just this morning I was missing the wards :) missing the interaction with patients (I've always loved to be part of the lives of others, if God willing, to positively impact other's lives), feeling that as a responsible med student, I sld be clerking. But yet I didn't go to the wards in the end (thou many of my friends did) cos 1. I was sick 2. had some unknown apprehension towards clerking...

Guess a friend's email re rejection by patients hit some part of me. Part of the reason of my growing fear of clerking was the increased apprehension towards ppl in general. Seems that I'm losing that 'thick-skiness' to interact with patients, yet I long and yearn to build this rapport with ppl...haha, another struggle...another reason wld be that I feel that every chance to clerk n p/e was so precious, and I sld treasure and make the most of it. But I'm just so ill prepared everytime (cos lazy, nvr read/practice beforehand)...but sill, that sld be no excuse to not clerking, cos that's the best way to learn!!!

Ah!!! God must be speaking to me in dreams :) I'll go clerk and faithfully follow up all my patients next week. May the Lord fill me with the strength, enthusiasm and compassion!!

Arg, sore throat...pain pain pain!!!