It has been an extremely angsty week. On one day, things went so bad I guess I shocked my friends around me, and even shocked myself.
Why so angst? I can't even pinpoint a single event, but I guess it was multifactorial and also an accumulation of stored pressure of disatisfaction/disappointment/helplessness.
But thank God for great friends and colleagues around me, who supported me thru the angsty period and remind me to take a step back and reflect on such unnecessary anger.
Below are some thoughts:
1. Standing for what I feel strongly about
- I guess this is the overarching reason for all the angst. Now that I am in a certain position of power, I really hope to put in place some things which I had believed strongly though my past experiences. However, I forgot that the system that I am fighting is a really stubborn one, and people are not always receptive towards change. So in fighting stubborn resistance, it is hard not to become angsty.
It is a great struggle still to draw the line between standing for principles and becoming arrogant/stubborn. I am still trying to find the balance, but constantly feel that if I given way to certain principles, it would be difficult to make a stand the next time round. But yet, not all situations are always so clear cut. Sigh, it takes great wisdom to tread on such thin lines.
2. We will NOT be bullied
- The sense of being abused and demanded for, being treated without due respect and take granted for. We are often expected to do things beyond our physical ability and to perform despite sheer stress and constraints. Yes, I would do that out of goodwill and if the situation calls for, but not when I am demanded/ordered/expected to do so. I am a doctor, and as such, my primary role is clinical before administrative. If people think that my administrative role is more important, than cut down the clinical workload. But than again, I'm a doctor, and treating patients is what I am trained for.
3. Credit not given where credit is due
- After a long days work, staying back overtime to assist in administrative stuff, how would you feel if you received an email from your boss saying that you haven't done enough just because of 1 individual complain. Disappointed, upset, helpless, feel like giving up? Yeah, that and more. Why am I working so hard? Is it all worth it? Why should I care if this is how my superiors treat us or see our work. I love my job, and I don't demand recognition (for the satisfaction I get is from the smiles of my patients and staff). However, how can I tolerate "dis-recognition", especially when I am already not paid for my extra effort or compensated for my care. The least one can be is supportive and not oppressive...Brr..angst!!!
4. To prove otherwise
- I was deeply hurt and upset when one of my patients shouted and insulted my staff outside my clinic (I didn't hear it from him, thank God, but heard from my staff) after waiting for a while and not being seen. After all the hoo-ha, he said "I am not scolding you, but the f***** inside (ie me)". And that was an extremely busy day of clinic which I ran solo. I had to pack lunch to see patients, didn't even stop for toilet break!!! And there you have such unthoughtful, ungrateful people out there hurling insults at ME!!! Fortunately, that was the end of the day...
...but the true angst came the next day, when I ran clinic solo again. There was a case which took me a while to manage and when I returned, I realised I had >20 patients to clear, of which some were "making noise" outside. I don't know what overcame me, but the sudden thought came "since ppl complain about waiting time, I will cut their waiting time, and they will suffer the consequences". I cleared all the patients in 1.5h, saw them mechanically without much emotion, not stopping to allow them to voice any question (other than answer mine). Still clinical and safe, minus the service and smile.
Ah...all that angsst. Feels better to voice them out, yet feels so stupid and immature about myself. Man, I am much better than that! To be so petty and calculative. As I was angst-ing, my dearest bro brought me back before Christ and I felt a sudden shame and heartache. "Why the angst?" I could almost hear God say "have I not created you for more than that? Where is the love?"
Sigh, indeed, where is the love? Didn't God already state in His word "To love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind and all your strength. Then to love each other as you love yourself." If God had been in the picture, there would not be the need for any angst. For He promised to let judgement be His to pronounce, no need for me to be the judge. For He said "to work at everything with all our heart, as if for the Lord and not for Man". Who cares what others say about me, I don't need their acknowledgement, for it is God whom I serve, and if He acknowledges me, whom shall I fear?
Indeed, angst is a sign of arrogance, and God clearly states that He will put down the arrogant and raise up the humble. The wars on earth are not meant for mere mortals like me to fight, for He will fight for us...and He has already gained victory!!! Father Lord, I am so sorry for being stiffed-neck and stubborn. Through all these angst, I realised just how self-centered I have been. Father, please help me, to be gentle in heart just as You are, and not be corrupted by the power I have. Father Lord, I offer my life into Your hands, give me wisdom to make the right judgement, humility to learn and compassion to love. May my life be a worship onto you and a blessing to others. Amen.
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Monday, April 2, 2012
At the warfront
If you think wars are only fought during wartime, you are so wrong!!!! Where I am, wars are fought everyday, and I think I'm so unqualified to even mention the wars I fight cos many of my friends fight bigger and more impactful wars daily. When they share the battles they fight, I'm just so impressed by their determination and courage, yet so so disappointed by the system we work in.
But ya, war. I'm tired of fighting wars. They are so draining. I have to consider so many factors, from the position of my enemies to their logistic capabilities, from the weapons I use to the time/method I employ. Every small mistake can be fatal, or worst, backfire with dire consequences (often with collateral damage).
So many wars on so many fronts...
International war
Reason for war: to hold my ground and stand firm on principles. To protect my land and the people under me from "foreign" invaders. We will NOT be bullied...but neither will we be bullies. Realised the importance of diplomacy thru the words of wisdom from an experienced service-women: "It is important to stand firm for principles, but more important are the relationships. The true victor is one who wins both" Wow!!! Indeed, that calls for much wisdom, patience and understanding.
God has been AMAZINGLY merciful in these wars fought. Instead of enemies made, he has blessed me with beautiful friendships that are forged through the wars. It's a miracle, and indeed, he IS the great counsellor and prince of peace :)
Father Lord, help me to keep my angst in check, to learn to be firm, yet not hurtful. Grant me wisdom to be dynamic, creative and flexible, without compromising on what is right. 叫我对事不对人
Civil wars
Hardest to fight, for it concerns people who are under your care. Hard to find the balance, to have wisdom to see things from a bird's eye view, to be able to hear the story from both sides and discern the truth. Ever case is so different, yet like in law, once a case is presented and sentenced, it would be used as a guideline for the next case. And so, great caution and thought must be put into each case so that I will be fair.
Nobles - subjects or Nobles - royalty:
I tot this would be easy, but it turns out harder than it seems. The wisdom of Samuel says "Not to defy orders of the nobles before the subjects" and I totally agree. But yet, I have on a few accounts fallen into that, cos I cared too much for my subjects. I have ganged up with my subjects against the nobles, and that is not the right thing to do. Have I forgotten that the nobles too are my subjects and I have to care for them as well. As much as I am partially anti-establishment, I cannot embarrass my nobles before my subjects. Any issues should be done behind the scenes in discussion.
Subjects - subjects:
These are wars that pain me most. How I often pray for harmony and peace amongst my subjects, that they will be friends and leave with beautiful memories that hold them together. Yet, I'm beginning to hear more and more underlying tension in the grassroots. Mistrust is building up, comparison instead of cooperation. How can I help them to see the importance of teamwork, of supporting each other, of fighting ALONGSIDE each other and not WITH each other!!! The wisdom of Solomen says in Ecclesiastes 4: 9-12 "Two are better than one...Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken"
But yet, we are sinful people living in a fallen world. Who of us can say we are not selfish. Even I dare not say I'm altruistic. I too am a sinful man, with selfish desires and personal motives. Who am I to judge and guide others? Only you Lord are pure in heart, blameless and perfect. Father, help guide my subjects to love one another as they love themselves.
Internal wars
These are the conflicts within me. Drives me crazy as if I am schizophrenic or bipolar. Having so many ego states, having to be so many roles at one time. I find myself sometimes a hypocrite when I'm in one role and seeing a case in another. But words of wisdom from CMW:" It doesn't matter whether you are M or O first, what matters is WHO YOU ARE!" Amen, and I thank God my identity is clear. I am the Son of God, created in His image. And the sole purpose of my life is to become more and more like him!
But of course, that doesn't actually make things easier, for so often, I find myself struggling between WWJD and what I want to do. I find all sorts of logic to justify myself, though I know has given a clear path. Ah, stupid, stubborn me...Father, mould my heart that it would follow whatever you desire.
...
Wars. It is terrible to be in the midst of it, but going through it helps you learn and mature. Some wars are worth fighting but in the words of Samuel:" Choose the wars to fight" There is only one me, and I certainly can't fight all wars. Father, strengthen my faith and grant me courage to do what is right. Grant me wisdom to fight the right wars, for Your glory and blessing to others.
But ya, war. I'm tired of fighting wars. They are so draining. I have to consider so many factors, from the position of my enemies to their logistic capabilities, from the weapons I use to the time/method I employ. Every small mistake can be fatal, or worst, backfire with dire consequences (often with collateral damage).
So many wars on so many fronts...
International war
Reason for war: to hold my ground and stand firm on principles. To protect my land and the people under me from "foreign" invaders. We will NOT be bullied...but neither will we be bullies. Realised the importance of diplomacy thru the words of wisdom from an experienced service-women: "It is important to stand firm for principles, but more important are the relationships. The true victor is one who wins both" Wow!!! Indeed, that calls for much wisdom, patience and understanding.
God has been AMAZINGLY merciful in these wars fought. Instead of enemies made, he has blessed me with beautiful friendships that are forged through the wars. It's a miracle, and indeed, he IS the great counsellor and prince of peace :)
Father Lord, help me to keep my angst in check, to learn to be firm, yet not hurtful. Grant me wisdom to be dynamic, creative and flexible, without compromising on what is right. 叫我对事不对人
Civil wars
Hardest to fight, for it concerns people who are under your care. Hard to find the balance, to have wisdom to see things from a bird's eye view, to be able to hear the story from both sides and discern the truth. Ever case is so different, yet like in law, once a case is presented and sentenced, it would be used as a guideline for the next case. And so, great caution and thought must be put into each case so that I will be fair.
Nobles - subjects or Nobles - royalty:
I tot this would be easy, but it turns out harder than it seems. The wisdom of Samuel says "Not to defy orders of the nobles before the subjects" and I totally agree. But yet, I have on a few accounts fallen into that, cos I cared too much for my subjects. I have ganged up with my subjects against the nobles, and that is not the right thing to do. Have I forgotten that the nobles too are my subjects and I have to care for them as well. As much as I am partially anti-establishment, I cannot embarrass my nobles before my subjects. Any issues should be done behind the scenes in discussion.
Subjects - subjects:
These are wars that pain me most. How I often pray for harmony and peace amongst my subjects, that they will be friends and leave with beautiful memories that hold them together. Yet, I'm beginning to hear more and more underlying tension in the grassroots. Mistrust is building up, comparison instead of cooperation. How can I help them to see the importance of teamwork, of supporting each other, of fighting ALONGSIDE each other and not WITH each other!!! The wisdom of Solomen says in Ecclesiastes 4: 9-12 "Two are better than one...Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken"
But yet, we are sinful people living in a fallen world. Who of us can say we are not selfish. Even I dare not say I'm altruistic. I too am a sinful man, with selfish desires and personal motives. Who am I to judge and guide others? Only you Lord are pure in heart, blameless and perfect. Father, help guide my subjects to love one another as they love themselves.
Internal wars
These are the conflicts within me. Drives me crazy as if I am schizophrenic or bipolar. Having so many ego states, having to be so many roles at one time. I find myself sometimes a hypocrite when I'm in one role and seeing a case in another. But words of wisdom from CMW:" It doesn't matter whether you are M or O first, what matters is WHO YOU ARE!" Amen, and I thank God my identity is clear. I am the Son of God, created in His image. And the sole purpose of my life is to become more and more like him!
But of course, that doesn't actually make things easier, for so often, I find myself struggling between WWJD and what I want to do. I find all sorts of logic to justify myself, though I know has given a clear path. Ah, stupid, stubborn me...Father, mould my heart that it would follow whatever you desire.
...
Wars. It is terrible to be in the midst of it, but going through it helps you learn and mature. Some wars are worth fighting but in the words of Samuel:" Choose the wars to fight" There is only one me, and I certainly can't fight all wars. Father, strengthen my faith and grant me courage to do what is right. Grant me wisdom to fight the right wars, for Your glory and blessing to others.
Monday, February 27, 2012
Army daze
I can only thank God for putting me where I am today. I'm really loving the job as MOIC.
I get to see patients, train my GP skills and having the opportunity to read up on stuff. Though sometimes I meet some Chaoking idoits, they make life exciting and the work challenging. Realised huge gaps in my medical knowledge...time to read up!! Have the chance to deal with (hopefully not so frequent) emergencies, and having to be on my toes medically in anticipation of them. God has led me to see that I need to brush up on my medical skills/knowledge to be fair to my patients (Andrew is right, need to start building up approaches). Am also learning to find the right attitude in approaching patients (and trying hard not to be a hypocrite/double ego)
I have a team of wonderful medics and senior medics to work with. Jeremy just shared a verse from 2 Sam 2:22, about David being the captain of his man. Indeed, I too am the captain of many men and I really pray that God would give me wisdom and patience to influence/inspire/guide them. Had started a fire after we implemented regimentation the week before, but God blessed us and turned the crisis around. O Lord, teach me to be a good leader, grant us a clear vision, help me to be able to lead, to excel and to overcome! May You be the Lord over our medical center
I have time (or so I think)...time to plan things, but there's so so so much I need to do/want to do. Build relationships (family/fiance/buddies/friends), learn new stuff (driving), RnR (run/cycle/go overseas), study (spiritual/medical), ministry (MM/G3) and MARRIAGE!!! Ah, so many things...how to plan?!?!?! Dear Lord, pls give me wisdom and courage to prioritise.
Looks like the year and a half ahead will be full of excitement and challenges. O Lord, I pray you would walk before and alongside me as I journey in the path you lead.
I get to see patients, train my GP skills and having the opportunity to read up on stuff. Though sometimes I meet some Chaoking idoits, they make life exciting and the work challenging. Realised huge gaps in my medical knowledge...time to read up!! Have the chance to deal with (hopefully not so frequent) emergencies, and having to be on my toes medically in anticipation of them. God has led me to see that I need to brush up on my medical skills/knowledge to be fair to my patients (Andrew is right, need to start building up approaches). Am also learning to find the right attitude in approaching patients (and trying hard not to be a hypocrite/double ego)
I have a team of wonderful medics and senior medics to work with. Jeremy just shared a verse from 2 Sam 2:22, about David being the captain of his man. Indeed, I too am the captain of many men and I really pray that God would give me wisdom and patience to influence/inspire/guide them. Had started a fire after we implemented regimentation the week before, but God blessed us and turned the crisis around. O Lord, teach me to be a good leader, grant us a clear vision, help me to be able to lead, to excel and to overcome! May You be the Lord over our medical center
I have time (or so I think)...time to plan things, but there's so so so much I need to do/want to do. Build relationships (family/fiance/buddies/friends), learn new stuff (driving), RnR (run/cycle/go overseas), study (spiritual/medical), ministry (MM/G3) and MARRIAGE!!! Ah, so many things...how to plan?!?!?! Dear Lord, pls give me wisdom and courage to prioritise.
Looks like the year and a half ahead will be full of excitement and challenges. O Lord, I pray you would walk before and alongside me as I journey in the path you lead.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
God's testimony in my life
Our stay at Freshfields taichung is coming to an end. These 5 days here have been most refreshing and inspiring. Thank God for blessing us with the opportunity for rest n reflection, to have the time and energy to reflect on life and his Word. Thank God also for GoodTV, which has accompanied us daily, being a source of inspiration n encouragement. It's almost like attending a church camp :-)
Am still in the midist of writing for the church bullettin, but no inspiration from God yet. Rather, I thank God for walking me thru my blog again after so long, to look back at His work in my life. Once again, i am so amazed by His consistant prssence thru out my life. Situations change, my character/attitudes change, but God is never changing. Thank God for His blessings and encouragement, to have the courage to move on with life.
Much challenges lie ahead. Army life, getting married and marriage life, career path, ministry commitments...there's just so much qns marks ahead of me. I'm excited, but also scared...would I be able to make the wise decisions? would I have the discipline and will not to fall into temptation? Would i still be able to be a good Christian doctor/husband/son/friend? Would I stil be a Christian?
The future is indeed uncertain. Yet i have faith in our never changing Father. He has proven he is alive, through His hand in my life, and the lives of many others.
I can face tmr...because He lives!!!
Am still in the midist of writing for the church bullettin, but no inspiration from God yet. Rather, I thank God for walking me thru my blog again after so long, to look back at His work in my life. Once again, i am so amazed by His consistant prssence thru out my life. Situations change, my character/attitudes change, but God is never changing. Thank God for His blessings and encouragement, to have the courage to move on with life.
Much challenges lie ahead. Army life, getting married and marriage life, career path, ministry commitments...there's just so much qns marks ahead of me. I'm excited, but also scared...would I be able to make the wise decisions? would I have the discipline and will not to fall into temptation? Would i still be able to be a good Christian doctor/husband/son/friend? Would I stil be a Christian?
The future is indeed uncertain. Yet i have faith in our never changing Father. He has proven he is alive, through His hand in my life, and the lives of many others.
I can face tmr...because He lives!!!
Pause
Am on a trip with dagu/ergu/nainai...and trips with them mean only one thing --- relax!!!
Day one at taichung, and we were blessed to find goodTV, a local Christian channel. And the sermon by Dr Charles Standley spoke right to my heart, as the Spirit hit the rigt nerve --- Discipline.
Indeed, my life had been in such a mess. I have just too many commitments, some immediate appt, others preperatory stuff that needs to be done. Life is too busy, plus the change in work attitude...my life is almost devoid of spiritual refreshing, devoid of God. Everyday is but another day that passes by, nothing special, nothing new, no meaning. Strugles are forgotten, lessons are missed and mistakes are re made. Living for the moment ya.
But that is not the life God wld want us to live. He came to give us meaningful life, He is the meaning to our lives. But how can i receive such a life if i live being carried in the wind, following where it goes, without a clear direction, yet blown in every diection?
Indeed, i need disciple, a commitment to God in various aspects of my life. Many small, seemingly insignificant areas that i really need to start working on. Rest, time, money, tongue...need to start commiting them to God. One advice that Dr Standley shared was saying NO by the power of the Spirit. Yeah, often find myself trapped in saying yes to too many things. Yes to more commitments, yes to facebooking for another 1 min, yes to going out fpr dinners when dinner is wating for me at home, yes to setting another plug when mydear is waitting for me. I need to learn to let my yes be yes and no be no.
It aint going to be easy, and i suspect the Lord will make use of army to shape me up. What aan encouragement that is!!! Oh thank God for being such a loving father who disciplines His children.
Father Lord, thank u somuch for these few days of reflection and prayer. Lord, i know the challenges ahead are tough, but I ask for ur wisdom and stregthem to overcome. Please guide my every step, make my heart sensitive to ur every warning and grant me the will to say no in ur name! Amen!
we are the most atypical tourist. We dont visit the usual touristy places (its ok if dont see the taj mahal if we went to india...but then again, we wont go india), dont do the usual touristy things or stay in the touristy places. Our agenda is simple: convenient, hassel free, non-rushed, no fixed itinary, easy to travel (wif wheelchair) that is less than 6h flight from Singapore.
What does this spell? A truly relaxing holiday. And that's what we have been doinb the past few days in taichung.
To some, it may sound boring and a waste of money. But to us, that's what a holiday sld be :) spending time aw***
And by God's guidance and grace, I prayed that this trip would not be wasted, like some of the previous other ones, but God wld help me spend time with Him and to be refreshed in spirit again. Praise the Lord, for that was exactly what He had blessed me with...not without some awakening.
Day one at taichung, and we were blessed to find goodTV, a local Christian channel. And the sermon by Dr Charles Standley spoke right to my heart, as the Spirit hit the rigt nerve --- Discipline.
Indeed, my life had been in such a mess. I have just too many commitments, some immediate appt, others preperatory stuff that needs to be done. Life is too busy, plus the change in work attitude...my life is almost devoid of spiritual refreshing, devoid of God. Everyday is but another day that passes by, nothing special, nothing new, no meaning. Strugles are forgotten, lessons are missed and mistakes are re made. Living for the moment ya.
But that is not the life God wld want us to live. He came to give us meaningful life, He is the meaning to our lives. But how can i receive such a life if i live being carried in the wind, following where it goes, without a clear direction, yet blown in every diection?
Indeed, i need disciple, a commitment to God in various aspects of my life. Many small, seemingly insignificant areas that i really need to start working on. Rest, time, money, tongue...need to start commiting them to God. One advice that Dr Standley shared was saying NO by the power of the Spirit. Yeah, often find myself trapped in saying yes to too many things. Yes to more commitments, yes to facebooking for another 1 min, yes to going out fpr dinners when dinner is wating for me at home, yes to setting another plug when mydear is waitting for me. I need to learn to let my yes be yes and no be no.
It aint going to be easy, and i suspect the Lord will make use of army to shape me up. What aan encouragement that is!!! Oh thank God for being such a loving father who disciplines His children.
Father Lord, thank u somuch for these few days of reflection and prayer. Lord, i know the challenges ahead are tough, but I ask for ur wisdom and stregthem to overcome. Please guide my every step, make my heart sensitive to ur every warning and grant me the will to say no in ur name! Amen!
***ay from the hustle of life (and not having more schedules to catch), to do things we dont get to do back home, spend time with each other, and also with God.
Amen to that
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Post Boracay thoughts
Woke up puking the first night home...knew I'm in for a bad GE. Spiked fever, barely even able to walk to the clinic (thank God for Andrew). Suffered a day or 2...But it was a blessing in disguise.
Had extra time to sort things out, the other many things in my life that I had nicely chucked away under the pressure of work. Spent time looking through facebook, seeing how all my old friends are...some I almost could not recognise after the many years since we met. Ah, such friendship...and such a pity to have moved on without them. As life goes on, we make new friends...but does that mean we leave our old ones behind? Yet we all have only so many hours a day, how can we keep up with all our friends?
Boracay was beautiful!!!! And we can only thank God and praise Him in view His glory. The clear blue sky, crystal clear water and white sandy beaches. I almost could not believe the photos I took. They were so beautiful it looks almost artificial :) But God brought us physically there, to enjoy such wonder, to bless us with great sun and beautiful weather, and openned our eyes to witness His creation. To creation, the bible has it "And He saw that it was good"...AMEN!!!!
But above the beauty of nature, God has blessed me especially, with dear friends, brothers and sisters in Christ. This trip, through Sam, Jon and Dawn, God has taught me so much and openned my eyes to see the flith inside me, the dirtiness which I have been blinded to or chosen not to acknowledge. Indeed, true friends point out your darkest mistakes hoping that u become someone better, and I praise God for blessing me with such friends.
Some lessons
1. As much as I have always advocate critising one's motivation, I realised just how little I qns my own motivation in doing things. Like bargining, realised how petty I can be to try and under cut others for the fun of it. Need to learn to respect others for the goods they provide, recognising that this is their means of living. Eg One gave above the bargined price cos he felt that the handmade goods were worth paying for, though I emphasised that the cost price is probably much lesser.
2. Had lost my passion and sensitivity for envangelism/bible reading/regular devotion until this trip, when I witnessed once again just how being deeply rooted in the word produces the fruits of the Spirit...and yea, my tree was definitely dying. Thank God for the reminder and for reigniting the passion and discipline (thru worry for my own Spiritual well-being and urgency before it is too late I must say). Need to start reading again...no more excuses!!!
Need to be more sensitive to opportunities to share. Realised just how many chances to share the gospel had slipped pass me and also just how bad a testimony I have been. Hyporite!!!! Oh God, humble me and shape my heart to be like yours, to be eager to be a blessing and direct others to you!
Need to be more prayerful...spontaneous prayer. For God hears!!! Better to pray NOW then say I'll pray later and forget all about it.
3. Not everything in life can be explained. Not every explaination fits every situation. We are all different, from different culture/background/situation...and thus being diverse, we cannot assume that everyone, every situation is the same. But nonetheless, our God never changes! He is the same yesterday, today, everyday! And thus it is important to hold on the His principles and work things out from there.
What a trip, of physical resting and Spiritual revival. Praise the Lord!!! Father, I pray that the lessons you have taught me will not be forgotten. Please continue to shape my dull and broken heart, revive my spirit so that my life will scream JESUS CHRIST!!! and not me. Amen.
Had extra time to sort things out, the other many things in my life that I had nicely chucked away under the pressure of work. Spent time looking through facebook, seeing how all my old friends are...some I almost could not recognise after the many years since we met. Ah, such friendship...and such a pity to have moved on without them. As life goes on, we make new friends...but does that mean we leave our old ones behind? Yet we all have only so many hours a day, how can we keep up with all our friends?
Boracay was beautiful!!!! And we can only thank God and praise Him in view His glory. The clear blue sky, crystal clear water and white sandy beaches. I almost could not believe the photos I took. They were so beautiful it looks almost artificial :) But God brought us physically there, to enjoy such wonder, to bless us with great sun and beautiful weather, and openned our eyes to witness His creation. To creation, the bible has it "And He saw that it was good"...AMEN!!!!
But above the beauty of nature, God has blessed me especially, with dear friends, brothers and sisters in Christ. This trip, through Sam, Jon and Dawn, God has taught me so much and openned my eyes to see the flith inside me, the dirtiness which I have been blinded to or chosen not to acknowledge. Indeed, true friends point out your darkest mistakes hoping that u become someone better, and I praise God for blessing me with such friends.
Some lessons
1. As much as I have always advocate critising one's motivation, I realised just how little I qns my own motivation in doing things. Like bargining, realised how petty I can be to try and under cut others for the fun of it. Need to learn to respect others for the goods they provide, recognising that this is their means of living. Eg One gave above the bargined price cos he felt that the handmade goods were worth paying for, though I emphasised that the cost price is probably much lesser.
2. Had lost my passion and sensitivity for envangelism/bible reading/regular devotion until this trip, when I witnessed once again just how being deeply rooted in the word produces the fruits of the Spirit...and yea, my tree was definitely dying. Thank God for the reminder and for reigniting the passion and discipline (thru worry for my own Spiritual well-being and urgency before it is too late I must say). Need to start reading again...no more excuses!!!
Need to be more sensitive to opportunities to share. Realised just how many chances to share the gospel had slipped pass me and also just how bad a testimony I have been. Hyporite!!!! Oh God, humble me and shape my heart to be like yours, to be eager to be a blessing and direct others to you!
Need to be more prayerful...spontaneous prayer. For God hears!!! Better to pray NOW then say I'll pray later and forget all about it.
3. Not everything in life can be explained. Not every explaination fits every situation. We are all different, from different culture/background/situation...and thus being diverse, we cannot assume that everyone, every situation is the same. But nonetheless, our God never changes! He is the same yesterday, today, everyday! And thus it is important to hold on the His principles and work things out from there.
What a trip, of physical resting and Spiritual revival. Praise the Lord!!! Father, I pray that the lessons you have taught me will not be forgotten. Please continue to shape my dull and broken heart, revive my spirit so that my life will scream JESUS CHRIST!!! and not me. Amen.
Friday, May 6, 2011
General elections 2011
I think I have grown old enough, to see and to hear...
This elections is not about a political warfare
This elections is not about charisma.
This elections is about the people of Singapore, my fellow country man, my home.
This elections is about the society at large, to standup for social injustices, to allow the hidden issues well masked to be surfaced and debated.
This elections is about breaking the porcelin doll, to reveal the dark and rotten inside, so that it can be cleaned.
I thank God for blessing Singapore. We have had a good government and much opportunities to progress and grow. But it is time for us to be responisble of the progress we have. To not allow economics/finance/money to blind us from the many issues that are swept under the carpet.
My dear fellow Singaporeans, pls vote wisely, for a better tmr!!
May God bless Singapore!!!!
This elections is not about a political warfare
This elections is not about charisma.
This elections is about the people of Singapore, my fellow country man, my home.
This elections is about the society at large, to standup for social injustices, to allow the hidden issues well masked to be surfaced and debated.
This elections is about breaking the porcelin doll, to reveal the dark and rotten inside, so that it can be cleaned.
I thank God for blessing Singapore. We have had a good government and much opportunities to progress and grow. But it is time for us to be responisble of the progress we have. To not allow economics/finance/money to blind us from the many issues that are swept under the carpet.
My dear fellow Singaporeans, pls vote wisely, for a better tmr!!
May God bless Singapore!!!!
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