At the warfront

If you think wars are only fought during wartime, you are so wrong!!!! Where I am, wars are fought everyday, and I think I'm so unqualified to even mention the wars I fight cos many of my friends fight bigger and more impactful wars daily. When they share the battles they fight, I'm just so impressed by their determination and courage, yet so so disappointed by the system we work in.

But ya, war. I'm tired of fighting wars. They are so draining. I have to consider so many factors, from the position of my enemies to their logistic capabilities, from the weapons I use to the time/method I employ. Every small mistake can be fatal, or worst, backfire with dire consequences (often with collateral damage).

So many wars on so many fronts...

International war
Reason for war: to hold my ground and stand firm on principles. To protect my land and the people under me from "foreign" invaders. We will NOT be bullied...but neither will we be bullies. Realised the importance of diplomacy thru the words of wisdom from an experienced service-women: "It is important to stand firm for principles, but more important are the relationships. The true victor is one who wins both" Wow!!! Indeed, that calls for much wisdom, patience and understanding.

God has been AMAZINGLY merciful in these wars fought. Instead of enemies made, he has blessed me with beautiful friendships that are forged through the wars. It's a miracle, and indeed, he IS the great counsellor and prince of peace :)

Father Lord, help me to keep my angst in check, to learn to be firm, yet not hurtful. Grant me wisdom to be dynamic, creative and flexible, without compromising on what is right. 叫我对事不对人

Civil wars
Hardest to fight, for it concerns people who are under your care. Hard to find the balance, to have wisdom to see things from a bird's eye view, to be able to hear the story from both sides and discern the truth. Ever case is so different, yet like in law, once a case is presented and sentenced, it would be used as a guideline for the next case. And so, great caution and thought must be put into each case so that I will be fair.

Nobles - subjects or Nobles - royalty:
I tot this would be easy, but it turns out harder than it seems. The wisdom of Samuel says "Not to defy orders of the nobles before the subjects" and I totally agree. But yet, I have on a few accounts fallen into that, cos I cared too much for my subjects. I have ganged up with my subjects against the nobles, and that is not the right thing to do. Have I forgotten that the nobles too are my subjects and I have to care for them as well. As much as I am partially anti-establishment, I cannot embarrass my nobles before my subjects. Any issues should be done behind the scenes in discussion.

Subjects - subjects:
These are wars that pain me most. How I often pray for harmony and peace amongst my subjects, that they will be friends and leave with beautiful memories that hold them together. Yet, I'm beginning to hear more and more underlying tension in the grassroots. Mistrust is building up, comparison instead of cooperation. How can I help them to see the importance of teamwork, of supporting each other, of fighting ALONGSIDE each other and not WITH each other!!! The wisdom of Solomen says in Ecclesiastes 4: 9-12 "Two are better than one...Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken"

But yet, we are sinful people living in a fallen world. Who of us can say we are not selfish. Even I dare not say I'm altruistic. I too am a sinful man, with selfish desires and personal motives. Who am I to judge and guide others? Only you Lord are pure in heart, blameless and perfect. Father, help guide my subjects to love one another as they love themselves.

Internal wars
These are the conflicts within me. Drives me crazy as if I am schizophrenic or bipolar. Having so many ego states, having to be so many roles at one time. I find myself sometimes a hypocrite when I'm in one role and seeing a case in another. But words of wisdom from CMW:" It doesn't matter whether you are M or O first, what matters is WHO YOU ARE!" Amen, and I thank God my identity is clear. I am the Son of God, created in His image. And the sole purpose of my life is to become more and more like him!

But of course, that doesn't actually make things easier, for so often, I find myself struggling between WWJD and what I want to do. I find all sorts of logic to justify myself, though I know has given a clear path. Ah, stupid, stubborn me...Father, mould my heart that it would follow whatever you desire.

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Wars. It is terrible to be in the midst of it, but going through it helps you learn and mature. Some wars are worth fighting but in the words of Samuel:" Choose the wars to fight" There is only one me, and I certainly can't fight all wars. Father, strengthen my faith and grant me courage to do what is right. Grant me wisdom to fight the right wars, for Your glory and blessing to others.