4 weeks just passed like that. To think that 4 weeks ago I was still staring at the computer screen wondering if I wld survive SIP...And now, SIP comes to a beautiful closure.
Ptn returned from SIP s/p wonderful dinner with Daphne and Terance (both excellent HO in their own way). Ptn desaturated and went into PEA during the procedure and was given 2units of God's strength. Ptn was resusitated and returned to NSR. SpO2 maintained at 100% by God's grace
Indeed, there were so many depressing moments over the past weeks when I felt so lousy, so uncapable. My poor presenting skills, my poor skill in procedure, my inefficiency, my inability to remember ptn's details...How can I be that competent, compassionate, Christian doc??? I'll probably be a bane to the medical community, a danger to the society. When such tots hit, I feel so helpless and trapped. "Why not just quit? Just give it up?" Escape seems like the answer, but God definitely has other plans. When I desaturated, He resusitated me! He is my provider and ever present strength!
H: S1S2, regular
L: Clear, no wheeze/creps
A: Soft NT BS+
I would really miss typing these, to be charting the daily parameters, to be following up with my patients, to be directly involved in their management, to be rounding with Daphne and my team...the ability to make a real difference, the responsibilty of caring for another, though it may have been stressful, it has brought me out of my comfort zone, to realise my gap in knowledge and there's so much I need to catch up.
Thank you all for making SIP such a great experience. To all the nurses of ward 45 (and other wards I've been to during my night calls) you have been such a great help and blessing to us as doc and to the ptn. With such good nurses and beautiful teamwork, ptn really benefit and receive good care. To my seniors, thanks for being patient with me and guiding me along the way. I hope I'll be the helpful HO one day you can trust and not the one ppl throw lots to work with.
Post procedure plans:
1. To study harder for MBBS x 212/7
2. To continue to pray and trust in the Lord x forever
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