My "hol" just came to end. 1 week of real hol and 1 week of diagnostic radiology...
While it has been an exciting and fulfiling holiday, as I reflect on the past 2 weeks, I somehow feel a little regret, a little disappointed, a little upset, a little empty... While everyday seemed packed with activities, yet I find myself struggling to start each day...especially during DR, nights are spent on so much "entertainment" tat I wake up feeling so fatigue and living the day like a zombie...
Not only so, I struggled with the lack of discipline, loss the will to overcome temptation, loss the motivation to care for others. I begin to make decisions based on my feelings "wat makes me feel gd", begin to become so laid back...subtlely and dangerously, God was no longer the center of my life...I was...
Indeed, I lost the motivation for QT. Prayer became less...if any, was for success in events. I cared less and less for wat God cared for, I no longer consider what God wld want me do, but wat I wld like to do...
Hols are so dangerous. They deceive you to think that you have much time in your hands, tat you have "control" over your life. When nothing else matters, "I" became the center of the world and God was just there to make sure things went well...
Life without God is MISERABLE n empty...
O Father, take control of my life once more!
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